ups n down of my life~

hi..such a long time..hihi 

i've been very busy with many things all this time that i forgot how to live.. i haven't write since last year and my page is still the same even though i've changed a bit (i think..) ever since i've graduate from my diploma, i took a part time job until i've been accepted to the same university again but in degree level.. have i told you where is my university? nope? well i'm in UiTM Segamat, Johor. 

view from Bangunan Kayangan~

i've completed my diploma and currently pursuing my degree (both in accountancy) in the same university. it can be describe as boring but most calming place ever for me~ may be due to the forest around the campus that has released its calming effect. but, unlike my diploma period, now i live outside the campus or also known as non-resident (NR).. being an NR, i rent an house in kg. Lubok Batu. my house is very calming with bunch of animals such as cats, monkeys and others. it kind of surrounded by a thin forest and the greens so honestly this place is perfect for me...hihi

2nd home~

i've a lot of new classmates and they are all funny and kind to me.. i think i'll enjoy this life as a student even more.. a couple of week ago i had a pet name Daebak..he's a so damn cute cat that found in front of my house. i've pet him even though my housemate said he was sick. even so, i love him so much that i cried and cried so much in the night before he died. i found him breathless in the next morning i woke up. i couldn't cry anymore for i know he was not in pain anymore. i only can pray for his happiness in heaven..may you rest in peace my son~

Lovely Daebak~

other than that, i move on and live happily though im stressing coz i gained few kgs..but its okie..as long as im happy~^^

report ends for today. =)

mid-term break...like no break at all??

yo!! Yesterday was very cool! U know, after awhile, I saw a lot of stars yesterday I was so happy but still, I cant find my stars. They have been missing for quite a long time now and I wonder when they will come back. Thus, as I listened to Big Bang songs, I played in the park and watching the stars with my lil sis. It has been like 3 days since I got home but I dont feel happy that much. Its good to be with my family back but... there are too many assignment that need to be done plus, I dont know how to make a certificate template and.. I dont have anymoney to buy anything...huk3 U know, I even have to searched for coins at every part of my house to buy an ice cream.. and all i found was some of 5 cent coins but I satisfy enough that I can eat an ice cream eventhough i have to pay it with 5cent coins. Embarrasement or not, is not important for me as long as I can eat a yummy ice cream..ngee~

Plus, I still havent apply for bachelor degree yet due to unable to buy a no. Pin at BSN..kikiki~ When I think back, this time is the time that I hate the most- when I have a financial problem. I dont have money to buy food so as clothes. Ahhhhh..Im so hungry right now. My mom is so pity..I dont see her eat even once. She only give the food to me n my sis.. thats why I dont want to eat a lot.. Hahaha.. It just that I think I dont want to further my stuy anymore. I want to work and earn money for my family. I feel so useless that I can give anything to my family. Thats why, I decided that if I were to have a boyfriend, I want someone that high educated, young, handsome, diligent n most important, WEALTHY! I dont want to be with someone who penniless. I think....love can come after that. Love is not important anymore!^^ Words from Yukan Club, a japanese drama quoted “life is the main course, love is only a dessert!”..hihi I think its time to face a reality and become a realistic person~ wahh.. Im about enter an adult world where there are so many complicated things! Im soooo excited!!^^........

Ussoooo.... Im so afraid actually. Honestly, I dont want to become an adult. I want to live a life where love is the main course. But if I still think childishly like that, I will not be able to support my family. Even if it means to put all my dreams in the drawer and lock it forever, my family is the most important thing to me. Thus, to any guy if u want to hit on me u have to fullfil the said condition k!!!hua3(evil laugh~)

Daa all~^^

ariehnitsuno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh~~
it's feel goods to work out after have a very2 heavy n large lunch.. I had plain rice, boiled egg n a bowl of chicken curry.. It was very100 delicious.. hontou ni oishi desu~ but again, i think it has thousands of calories in them and if i dont do something and just lying on my bed then tadaa!!! all of them will turn into fats and stay as long as they like in my body..Thus, with assertive determination, i get up and today turned out to be cleaning day! I have tidy up my bed, swept the floor(on my area only~), do laundry numerous times,and now i still look for things that i could do other than lying on the bed. Speaking of the devil,I wondered why there are certain people insist to make me say that i have taken Herba****(HL) u-know-what-that-is thing to made me look like myself now(i've lost just a few kgs only~). Let me repeat it, i DID NOT taken the thing. U know why? First n most obvious reason, coz it is tooooooooooo costly!! IT will rip my wallet just to buy 1 bottle of it for about RM200!!!!!! And if I have that a lot of money, it will be better if I go shopping or eat in fancy restaurant instead of buying the shake. The HL is kinda same as milo or anlene chocolate flavoured and it is just a shake or precisely, meal replacement. In other words, if u want to take the shake, u absolutely cant consume any food other than the shake and plain water in order to see the positive result. If u have money and the wants, u cant hold urself from buying ur favourite food right???????????? deshio?? deshio?? Its such a waste if u drink the HL yet u still having 3 meals per day.. Zettai ni muri desu!!!! Thats why I dont have desire to purchase the thing. Other reasons... such as it is not worth to purchase, it is just similar to my Anlene chocolate flavoured drink but mine is way much cheaper and nutritious~hihihi Mahh, if u want to know how i end up like this shape...-simple. Just suffer a bit. What i mean by a bit is not actually a bit. It was an EXTREME suffering!!! Wait, let me refresh my memory back.........(after few hours~)
It was most likely last semester I start to lose weight... First, on this one particular day during BEL class, i saw my coursemate from other class seems to slimmed down a bit so i asked my classmate, Anith, who's bigger, me or the girl and Anith said that i'm bigger. I admit I was a little... not a little but pretty frustrated not to mention not long after that i clash with my x-bf.. Since then I kinda have much free time. I watched Korean dream, Dream High and i saw how Pil Suk(acted by IU) was so determined to lose weight for Jason. Thus, since then she has become my challange.. Like i cant lose to her...She can lose weight in a short amount of time so why not me? After that t was kinda hell for me..hahaha I mean like I have to adjust my eating habit drastically. Usually I ate abot one plate of rice with various dishes(mostly the oily ones~) and I perfectly have that kinda meal 3 times per day. Not to mention, junk foods and whatever unhealthy things. Do you guyz know how hard for me to change that?? One day, every morning I only ate 1 pack of OatKrunch biscuits as a breakfast. On the afternoon, I hve only half of plain rice and 1 type of dish. In addition, I drink nothing but plain water. I had litres of them to fulfill my body needs. And I never had dinner during night except when Kak Farah treat us KFC of movie time...hihihi But still.. First 1 week was a hellish week for me. To adjust my eating habit was a total suffering for me. After that, my body and mind has adapted to the new eating habit and the suffer was decreased a bit. As for exercise eh.. I think i was never really had a proper exercise routine other than running when i late for a morning class. Mostly, I will late for my morning class and what's worse, the classes was mostly far from my college.. And usually I will go for a walk every evening and did a few laps in order to sweat. Since then I felt my metabolism has increased bit by bit and I dont felt lazy often. I think that was one of the greatest thing has happened to me. I start to lose weight and can wear what i want~hihihi Above all, my risk for any disease especially heart probs has shrunken and I was so happy.. And I did'nt lose to Pil Suk! Yeay!hahaha.. However, that doesnt mean I didnot encounter any problem. As Pil Suk had Hepatitis A, I had several such as menstruation prob, kinda boneache and a bit paranoid... Thats why I cant really give anybody tips to lose weight coz if they got the same problem due to my tips, I will feel the most guilty(sory guyzZ~)
Mahhh~ Now my weight is steadily at 55-56kgs and I back to my old eating habit back coz of Dijah!!! Toshio??? I has to suffer once again coz I want to reduce my weight to 50kgs at most. Gambate ne!!!! It is time to take for evening walk so Daa~~^^

That why...

I wonder why should I said all my dreams to closed-minded people. Is it wrong if I dont like to work in the office? Is it wrong if I want to working and travel around the world at the same time? I think it is a great plan. The plan I had drawn fir myself; my own life. People may say it is easier said than done. I agree but if we didnt said it how do we want to do it? If we didnt tell the whole world we gonna do this and that in our life, will we have the confidence to do it? I know my self best. I dont have the confidence myself but once I said I really really want to it and I said it to others, I will make it happen. I dont wanna regret at the moment Im old and cannot move too much or else my bone will break, and speak to myself;"why I didnot take a chance to do this and that when Im was young? Why I have to sit here without any story in my life diary while others have plenty of it? I dont wanna be like that. When I think about it , it makes me extremely worried so I drew the plan for my life. It might be change from time to time but things that changed only when other people involved. For instance, when Im gonna get marry and because it have to wait til I confirm whom my soulmate is, so it will affect when I gonna have kids andwhere will I live with my family. However, things like how many kids I want and how Im going to educate and take care of them is fixed. I only want a pair of kids, a boy and a girl. And I want them to enjoy their life to the fullest without any obligation to help me earn money or pay my debts. I want they to feel very happy and grateful to be born into this world and havingme as their mama. Is it wrong if I think something out of common like that?? I am what I am and I dont wanna live having the same stories as others. It is my life so I want to plan something great so that I wont regret later. Even other people may think Im too simple-minded and life is not as easy as ABC, I know it all way better than anyone. Some sayings quoted; " if you did not had your bread with tears in your eye, you didnot taste a life"(something like this~~). But who care? Is eating a bread with a tear in your face will indicate that you have already experienced a life? Everybody has their own experience ans opinion about how they want to spend their own life fully so basically other people dont have the right to say whats right and whats wrong for us since they committed lots of mistakes in their own life anyway. hahaha~ peace!!! Im so relieved to have something to let it out to because if I keep it to myself I will be in severe depression and that is not good for me..hihi~ Now that I happy and want to continue learning my recipes. Chiao!!!!^^

happy dayzZ~^^

wahhh~ its quite awhile I dont blogging.. I dont have internet n I seldom go out of the house so bored.. but the good thing is I lost another kgs!!!^^ I definitely thought that I've gain weight this break coz Im not working n only eat, play n sleep..hua3 now my current mass is 55kgs! hua3~ I will strive til I reached 45 to 50 kgs! Fighting!!! gambate na!!! wanna see what I have eaten these past few days~ I made my meals look interesting n cute..wahaha wait2 I upload the picS...

my curry rice~ shedaappp!!!!

today's breakfast: sweet potato.. superb yummy!!!!
my white rice n telur bungkus~ngee

I dont know what this is.. something like rice + pickled fish + nugget + tomato + a bit of ikan masin + bbq saice = weird but tasty meal~hix3

this is my first omurice!!(eventhough I used bbq sauce..wahaha)

Those were some of meals Ive eaten these days~ Weird right? But I find still tasty although it looks weird..OppsS~ Im hungry so I want to make something to eat..buhbye!!^^