mid-term break...like no break at all??

yo!! Yesterday was very cool! U know, after awhile, I saw a lot of stars yesterday I was so happy but still, I cant find my stars. They have been missing for quite a long time now and I wonder when they will come back. Thus, as I listened to Big Bang songs, I played in the park and watching the stars with my lil sis. It has been like 3 days since I got home but I dont feel happy that much. Its good to be with my family back but... there are too many assignment that need to be done plus, I dont know how to make a certificate template and.. I dont have anymoney to buy anything...huk3 U know, I even have to searched for coins at every part of my house to buy an ice cream.. and all i found was some of 5 cent coins but I satisfy enough that I can eat an ice cream eventhough i have to pay it with 5cent coins. Embarrasement or not, is not important for me as long as I can eat a yummy ice cream..ngee~

Plus, I still havent apply for bachelor degree yet due to unable to buy a no. Pin at BSN..kikiki~ When I think back, this time is the time that I hate the most- when I have a financial problem. I dont have money to buy food so as clothes. Ahhhhh..Im so hungry right now. My mom is so pity..I dont see her eat even once. She only give the food to me n my sis.. thats why I dont want to eat a lot.. Hahaha.. It just that I think I dont want to further my stuy anymore. I want to work and earn money for my family. I feel so useless that I can give anything to my family. Thats why, I decided that if I were to have a boyfriend, I want someone that high educated, young, handsome, diligent n most important, WEALTHY! I dont want to be with someone who penniless. I think....love can come after that. Love is not important anymore!^^ Words from Yukan Club, a japanese drama quoted “life is the main course, love is only a dessert!”..hihi I think its time to face a reality and become a realistic person~ wahh.. Im about enter an adult world where there are so many complicated things! Im soooo excited!!^^........

Ussoooo.... Im so afraid actually. Honestly, I dont want to become an adult. I want to live a life where love is the main course. But if I still think childishly like that, I will not be able to support my family. Even if it means to put all my dreams in the drawer and lock it forever, my family is the most important thing to me. Thus, to any guy if u want to hit on me u have to fullfil the said condition k!!!hua3(evil laugh~)

Daa all~^^

ariehnitsuno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh~~
it's feel goods to work out after have a very2 heavy n large lunch.. I had plain rice, boiled egg n a bowl of chicken curry.. It was very100 delicious.. hontou ni oishi desu~ but again, i think it has thousands of calories in them and if i dont do something and just lying on my bed then tadaa!!! all of them will turn into fats and stay as long as they like in my body..Thus, with assertive determination, i get up and today turned out to be cleaning day! I have tidy up my bed, swept the floor(on my area only~), do laundry numerous times,and now i still look for things that i could do other than lying on the bed. Speaking of the devil,I wondered why there are certain people insist to make me say that i have taken Herba****(HL) u-know-what-that-is thing to made me look like myself now(i've lost just a few kgs only~). Let me repeat it, i DID NOT taken the thing. U know why? First n most obvious reason, coz it is tooooooooooo costly!! IT will rip my wallet just to buy 1 bottle of it for about RM200!!!!!! And if I have that a lot of money, it will be better if I go shopping or eat in fancy restaurant instead of buying the shake. The HL is kinda same as milo or anlene chocolate flavoured and it is just a shake or precisely, meal replacement. In other words, if u want to take the shake, u absolutely cant consume any food other than the shake and plain water in order to see the positive result. If u have money and the wants, u cant hold urself from buying ur favourite food right???????????? deshio?? deshio?? Its such a waste if u drink the HL yet u still having 3 meals per day.. Zettai ni muri desu!!!! Thats why I dont have desire to purchase the thing. Other reasons... such as it is not worth to purchase, it is just similar to my Anlene chocolate flavoured drink but mine is way much cheaper and nutritious~hihihi Mahh, if u want to know how i end up like this shape...-simple. Just suffer a bit. What i mean by a bit is not actually a bit. It was an EXTREME suffering!!! Wait, let me refresh my memory back.........(after few hours~)
It was most likely last semester I start to lose weight... First, on this one particular day during BEL class, i saw my coursemate from other class seems to slimmed down a bit so i asked my classmate, Anith, who's bigger, me or the girl and Anith said that i'm bigger. I admit I was a little... not a little but pretty frustrated not to mention not long after that i clash with my x-bf.. Since then I kinda have much free time. I watched Korean dream, Dream High and i saw how Pil Suk(acted by IU) was so determined to lose weight for Jason. Thus, since then she has become my challange.. Like i cant lose to her...She can lose weight in a short amount of time so why not me? After that t was kinda hell for me..hahaha I mean like I have to adjust my eating habit drastically. Usually I ate abot one plate of rice with various dishes(mostly the oily ones~) and I perfectly have that kinda meal 3 times per day. Not to mention, junk foods and whatever unhealthy things. Do you guyz know how hard for me to change that?? One day, every morning I only ate 1 pack of OatKrunch biscuits as a breakfast. On the afternoon, I hve only half of plain rice and 1 type of dish. In addition, I drink nothing but plain water. I had litres of them to fulfill my body needs. And I never had dinner during night except when Kak Farah treat us KFC of movie time...hihihi But still.. First 1 week was a hellish week for me. To adjust my eating habit was a total suffering for me. After that, my body and mind has adapted to the new eating habit and the suffer was decreased a bit. As for exercise eh.. I think i was never really had a proper exercise routine other than running when i late for a morning class. Mostly, I will late for my morning class and what's worse, the classes was mostly far from my college.. And usually I will go for a walk every evening and did a few laps in order to sweat. Since then I felt my metabolism has increased bit by bit and I dont felt lazy often. I think that was one of the greatest thing has happened to me. I start to lose weight and can wear what i want~hihihi Above all, my risk for any disease especially heart probs has shrunken and I was so happy.. And I did'nt lose to Pil Suk! Yeay!hahaha.. However, that doesnt mean I didnot encounter any problem. As Pil Suk had Hepatitis A, I had several such as menstruation prob, kinda boneache and a bit paranoid... Thats why I cant really give anybody tips to lose weight coz if they got the same problem due to my tips, I will feel the most guilty(sory guyzZ~)
Mahhh~ Now my weight is steadily at 55-56kgs and I back to my old eating habit back coz of Dijah!!! Toshio??? I has to suffer once again coz I want to reduce my weight to 50kgs at most. Gambate ne!!!! It is time to take for evening walk so Daa~~^^

That why...

I wonder why should I said all my dreams to closed-minded people. Is it wrong if I dont like to work in the office? Is it wrong if I want to working and travel around the world at the same time? I think it is a great plan. The plan I had drawn fir myself; my own life. People may say it is easier said than done. I agree but if we didnt said it how do we want to do it? If we didnt tell the whole world we gonna do this and that in our life, will we have the confidence to do it? I know my self best. I dont have the confidence myself but once I said I really really want to it and I said it to others, I will make it happen. I dont wanna regret at the moment Im old and cannot move too much or else my bone will break, and speak to myself;"why I didnot take a chance to do this and that when Im was young? Why I have to sit here without any story in my life diary while others have plenty of it? I dont wanna be like that. When I think about it , it makes me extremely worried so I drew the plan for my life. It might be change from time to time but things that changed only when other people involved. For instance, when Im gonna get marry and because it have to wait til I confirm whom my soulmate is, so it will affect when I gonna have kids andwhere will I live with my family. However, things like how many kids I want and how Im going to educate and take care of them is fixed. I only want a pair of kids, a boy and a girl. And I want them to enjoy their life to the fullest without any obligation to help me earn money or pay my debts. I want they to feel very happy and grateful to be born into this world and havingme as their mama. Is it wrong if I think something out of common like that?? I am what I am and I dont wanna live having the same stories as others. It is my life so I want to plan something great so that I wont regret later. Even other people may think Im too simple-minded and life is not as easy as ABC, I know it all way better than anyone. Some sayings quoted; " if you did not had your bread with tears in your eye, you didnot taste a life"(something like this~~). But who care? Is eating a bread with a tear in your face will indicate that you have already experienced a life? Everybody has their own experience ans opinion about how they want to spend their own life fully so basically other people dont have the right to say whats right and whats wrong for us since they committed lots of mistakes in their own life anyway. hahaha~ peace!!! Im so relieved to have something to let it out to because if I keep it to myself I will be in severe depression and that is not good for me..hihi~ Now that I happy and want to continue learning my recipes. Chiao!!!!^^

happy dayzZ~^^

wahhh~ its quite awhile I dont blogging.. I dont have internet n I seldom go out of the house so bored.. but the good thing is I lost another kgs!!!^^ I definitely thought that I've gain weight this break coz Im not working n only eat, play n sleep..hua3 now my current mass is 55kgs! hua3~ I will strive til I reached 45 to 50 kgs! Fighting!!! gambate na!!! wanna see what I have eaten these past few days~ I made my meals look interesting n cute..wahaha wait2 I upload the picS...

my curry rice~ shedaappp!!!!

today's breakfast: sweet potato.. superb yummy!!!!
my white rice n telur bungkus~ngee

I dont know what this is.. something like rice + pickled fish + nugget + tomato + a bit of ikan masin + bbq saice = weird but tasty meal~hix3

this is my first omurice!!(eventhough I used bbq sauce..wahaha)

Those were some of meals Ive eaten these days~ Weird right? But I find still tasty although it looks weird..OppsS~ Im hungry so I want to make something to eat..buhbye!!^^

Sem break is here!!!

Ahhh~

finally, i can come home after a few months in segamat neh.. im so excited that i cant study anymore coz my mind already at home.hihi lately i feel so empty.. so i keep harrassing my bestfriendzZ(especially atynn n Tem!!) I think.. think of it as a joke or noise n zen2 no meaning to everything i said. I tell this just in case. U know, if i dont do that, i cant move on... so, sory guyzZ!! if u love me, layan jexX la~hex3
As a relief, i will treat u guyz with my cookingS..Although im still a beginner but i believe my cookings are tasty..hihi i cant work this break coz it is only 3 weeks holiday, thus, i want to fill my free time with learn how to cook several dishes and appetizers. i have collected a lot of recipes(mostly japanese dishes!) n im so excited to make them especially curry rice n omurice n hambagaa n pasta!! wahh~ i'll be fat la this sem break.. but who care? i just want to be happy n cook 4 my family n friendzZ..hihi im single now n apparently not ready for another r/ship, so this is the only way to not being so heartbroken..ngee^^
well, this life once u abandoned, it will never go back.. so we must enjoy ourself to the fullest! its totally stupid to cry over a person who cant even makes us happy.. i learnt a lot in this life thus it makes me quite matured n live the way i want. I really dont like to be the follower. im the trend-setter(^,~)..hua3
okay, gtg! adios!!^^

Studying @ learning???

nguaaarrrrrhhhhhh!!!!!!
feel so sleepy right now. This week is already the first examination week and i have exam this thursday.
To make it worse, it is LAW paper!! Gosh! But why my laziness wont go away. I dont feel like in the mood for studying right now. Instead, all I do is make my recipes book! This book contains all recipes of my favourite foods and food that I'd like to taste.
Wait.. I upload the cover..
TADA!!!!
Cute right??hihi..
This is my text book for sem break later. I will be a chef this summer break!! yosha! haha.. Anybody want to join me in learning how to cook lots of delicious foods especially the japanese ones, do come to my house this May.( dont forget the money n ingredients!!kui3~) but im afraid i'll gain some weight as i cook n cook.. which i have already lose some now.
Arrrgghhh!! toshio~
Aish~ Most important...i have paper this thursday!!!
now time to study!
Daa~^^

huhh!? just now...

toshio?? ottokaji?? what should i do??
just now.. i feel something i have never feel in my whole life; this is the first. What is this thing?? It is kinda nervous + wanna cry + hard to breath feeling.. After i saw something, i start to feel this. Is it coz of that something? Maybe.. but i kinda frustrated coz i can never own that something. Something that so fine, so perfect like that will never wanna be mine. Its just too good to be true. How eh~ hux3.. Even now my heart still in chaos.. I have unfinished assignment that due tomorrow yet something has made my heart hurt. This is just too bad. How eh~ Maybe coz im a loner ranger thats why i felt this kind of feeling.
But still...

konnichiwa!!!!^^

hehe.. lately im busy with my assignments and tests..

but but~ still have time to work on certain things lorh~
first, university that i want to further my degree to. i never ever want to study in uitm anymore coz it's soooo boring~ same things happens everyday.. n datz d only all -u-c-is-malay-people place in this country. hihi.. not that i despise malay, it just very boring scenario that going on n on in my life.. now that im 20es..(cewahh!!) i wanna have some adventures in my life..thus, i want to further my study outside of my homeland or if not, in um or ukm..
i can do it!! atashiwa gambaru!!!
besides that, i think it will be fun if i could master other languages; not just learn but master it. as my english lecturer said, we( in the english class~) often learn a language but none of us really master in that particular language. thats why in my entire life if i could master 2 or 3 foreign languages other than malay n english, i think it will be more fun in the future~^^ n ive forgotten about my former plan to get marry after graduate from uitm or to be a cute young grandma..hik3 i dont even know if i really wanna get marry in this age.... guess ive been more realistic now. i just dont want my children end up being in a broken family..hua3
anyway, my plan is fixed and i have to achieve it before my 27th b-day.:D enough with d plan i wanna buy something to eat.. soon if i have time i will upload my ads video n some stories~
later!!^^

happiness...not mine??

hihi.. look at the title.. so mellowlah~ngeh3 now, in exact 11:05 a.m. , im in my english class.. not doing anything.. But most important of all, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO RAFIQ!!!! getting another year older~ but still im older than u but a lot2 more kawaii than u..hik3 hope u lead a awesome life and cherish every moment in ur life.. omg! im starting to show the symptoms of an old lady!!haha.. whatever..
huhh~ i dont know why my mood is kinda mellow lately.. i feel like i have no will to live or something.. guess it's just coz i got depressed with bunch of assignments and probs.. but sometime i feel like im out of my mind.. even last night i didnt get any sleep..i rather watch korean or japanese dramas or movies for all night long than doing my tutorials or sleeping.. i wanna cry a lot.. actually i did cry.. i cry n cry n cry everytime i watch a sad scene. i dont wnna stop crying..that time.. i just want to cry... its just too much for me.. should i move on or keep waiting for uncertainty.. tho shio.......

Epik Cinta Selene

saat kabus mulai mendakap pagi

lenaku masih disesatkan hutan kegundahan
kotak jiwa ini seringkali dilanda mimpi ngeri
tetapi apakah semua itu akan kekal menjadi mimpi?
atau...

bibit-bibit cinta mulai tak menampakkan kekukuhannya bersatu
setiap madah terasa sedingin salju
cinta yang dulunya punyaku
masihkah ia menjadi menjadi milikku?
atau...

setiap butir mutiara yang jatuh tak punya erti
tiada lagi yang akan membuat alirannya terhenti
istana cinta yang dulu akulah permaisuri
adakah aku tidak lagi bertakhta di hati?
mungkinkah...

setelah berjuta purnama dilewati bersama
luna malam ini tak lagi bersinar seperti biasa
Petir persoalan menyambar-nyambar minda
mengapa cerita cinta berakhir lara?
mengapa kini pendayang yang berpunya takhta?

huh..mainan tidur itu bertandang lagi
meski hanya mimpi namun seperti terjadi
segala igauanku dibunuh oleh sinaran mentari
namun hangat pagi tak bisa menghalang air jernih gugur dari mata ini
menanti kesudahan epik cinta antara pungguk dan si belahan hati

-Lia Anz-

not-so-lucky day~^^

today is very exhausting..

got some unlucky things happen to me n got lots of tutorials but im too motivationally deficient to do it..

this morning when i on my way to class i slipped n fell from the stair.. its all uncle UK's fault coz i had to stop suddenly n clip my matrix card.. thank god i didnt got any injury.. not only that, i go to the wrong class.. u know when u in such a hurry that u didnt even got to see your schedule to see where ur class is.. i was confident my class was at blok C.. n then i check again to confirm n i was shock my class was at SL not at C.. i have to run to go to SL coz it is a lil bit far n im so very much late for the FAR class..haha thanx god again after that everything went good.. i was happy though~^^

2011; for me......

gudbye 2010 n hello 2011!!!

this year..just another year. lots of sweet memories but lots of pain and difficulties in previous years.. so i hope this year onwards there will be more and more happy times and just a little hard times (coz its impossible to not having any hard time at all!).. and as usual, talk about new year we always talk bout our ambition for this year n what we want to achieve this year.. well, if u guyz ask mine, let me think first.....
ha..
firstly, i want to improve my pointer this sem so i will try as hard as i could to make it happen..hee~
secondly, i want to keep my weight stable this year!! i dont want to get fatter than i am now as im afraid to have any disease and i want to look young forever..hihi
next, u see im type every words in good english.. that is because im taking Malaysian University English Test (MUET) this sem!! im so nervous and excited to take the test but in the mean time i got to boost my english ability.. if u guyz like or in a very very good mood u can rate my english lor~ngee
n above all, i want all my frenzZ treat me a buffet!! haha~ its a must!! so to my buds who read this post add this thing to your to do list! well that all i wanna do this yeaR.. and if i can make a wish, (even my bday is so long to wait) i wish i can grad this year.. in exact NOVEMBER 2011..hihi.. that all~^^


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